Lately I've been hiding. On my couch, with 3 pillows, the biggest blanket we have, the fireplace lit, and the lifetime movies rolling. I've been so tired all the time and having difficulty breathing. I don't see this as a good thing to be experiencing for the next 7 and a half weeks but I'm in no hurry for the baby to come either. It needs to be in there, it needs to grow and develope and I need it to be in there so I can sleep and get it's, excuse me, her room ready. So much to do. You'd think I would have learned my lesson with Ryse and gotten on the ball a lot sooner.
We did find out last Thursday that "it" is actually "she". This was so exciting, I was banking on her being shy again and hiding..but nope- wide open for the world to see. Now we just need to decide on a name. For awhile I thought I had Derrick convinced to see it my way. I learned yesterday he's not even close...haha. Back to square one, but I'm not going down easily.
I wish I had more to say since it's been so long since I've written- not a very interesting update, but it is naptime and I'm feeling the draw of the couch, 3 pillows, big blanket, and the lifetime channel. I hope you're all well and as excited for Christmas as I am.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Dreamin' it
Ever want something so bad it starts to show up in your dreams? I've decided that I'm looking forward to 'girls weekend' a little too much (if that's possible). I had a dream the other night that I had this baby early...like actually on the night of the dream. I was so bummed, not because Derrick was out of town and missed the arrival of our new daughter (even though the gender has yet to be determined), but because I was going to have to take her with me on our overnight shopping trip to Columbus. Derrick (in real life) promised me that I'll get away before this baby comes without any children going along....he let me know it's okay to stop stressing...haha.
I am so looking forward to a night of no interuptions and lots of fun with the girls of the Herman family. It looks as though everyone can make it...making a perfect 7 in attendence. (humm...who will sleep alone?)
I spent the morning with two friends and their daughters...it was so much fun to see Ryse playing while we sat and talked. It was what I needed this morning. I have a feeling that this is going to be a great week....a wonderful start to the holiday season!
I am so looking forward to a night of no interuptions and lots of fun with the girls of the Herman family. It looks as though everyone can make it...making a perfect 7 in attendence. (humm...who will sleep alone?)
I spent the morning with two friends and their daughters...it was so much fun to see Ryse playing while we sat and talked. It was what I needed this morning. I have a feeling that this is going to be a great week....a wonderful start to the holiday season!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Discombobulated
I recently had a conversation with a friend explaining that I feel like everything that comes out of my mouth is taken the wrong way, or just comes out the wrong way. I wonder if I have always been this way and I'm just noticing it, or if I'm just starting to put my foot in my mouth more often. Who knows.
For example: the other night I was at a Pampered Chef party, mind you the 4th Thursday evening spent at a 'party', either selling jewelery, dishes & home decor, and now every kitchen gadget you can imagine. After the "this is my business, I make lots of money having parties, and here are all my wonderful products" speech I got comfortable on the couch between a friend and her pregnant friend (who I knew from before, but not very well at all). As I was searching the magazine trying to rationalize why I needed a fancy cheese grater instead of my wal-mart one, the pregnant friends' ring caught my eye. It was huge! Of course I can not be curious without saying anything so I ask to see it. It's even bigger and prettier when you stop and focus on it. So what comes out of my mouth?
me: Is it real?
her: Uh-yes
me: I mean, you know how when you're pregnant and your fingers swell, sometimes you go to wal-mart and buy a big fake one?
her: looking at me like I'm dumb
me: That looks like one I'd buy during that time....
her: still looking at me
me: I mean, not like it looks like it's from wal-mart, but it's that big. It's eautiful...honestly...err
::akward::
But of course, I kept trying to redeem myself and it was just dumb. Why? Isn't there a better way to compliment a ring? Besides the fact that it was clear that even in her 36th week she was not swollen, not at all. She was tiny...she made me look overdue and I'm a good 2 months behind her.
This is one of the less offensive examples. Right behind finding out my brother and sister-in-law would be traveling home for her grandmother's funeral. I asked if they would be going back right after the funeral or staying for the weekend. When I found out they'd be hanging around I replied "oh good! PAR-TAY!". Exactly what someone wants to hear when planning a trip home for a funeral...and continue with..."I'm sorry, that was a dumb thing to say...I uh...I'm excited to see you guys and..." Why can't I just say "that'll be nice to have you guys around for awhile and I'm sorry to hear about your grandma."?
I like to blame it on the hormones, but it's been causing me a lot of backtracking, foot in mouth, red-faced moments lately and it gets somewhat exhausting. So if you're around me and I say something dumb, please accept my appology, or atempt at one. It's safe to assume it's not the first dumb thing I've said that day. :)
For example: the other night I was at a Pampered Chef party, mind you the 4th Thursday evening spent at a 'party', either selling jewelery, dishes & home decor, and now every kitchen gadget you can imagine. After the "this is my business, I make lots of money having parties, and here are all my wonderful products" speech I got comfortable on the couch between a friend and her pregnant friend (who I knew from before, but not very well at all). As I was searching the magazine trying to rationalize why I needed a fancy cheese grater instead of my wal-mart one, the pregnant friends' ring caught my eye. It was huge! Of course I can not be curious without saying anything so I ask to see it. It's even bigger and prettier when you stop and focus on it. So what comes out of my mouth?
me: Is it real?
her: Uh-yes
me: I mean, you know how when you're pregnant and your fingers swell, sometimes you go to wal-mart and buy a big fake one?
her: looking at me like I'm dumb
me: That looks like one I'd buy during that time....
her: still looking at me
me: I mean, not like it looks like it's from wal-mart, but it's that big. It's eautiful...honestly...err
::akward::
But of course, I kept trying to redeem myself and it was just dumb. Why? Isn't there a better way to compliment a ring? Besides the fact that it was clear that even in her 36th week she was not swollen, not at all. She was tiny...she made me look overdue and I'm a good 2 months behind her.
This is one of the less offensive examples. Right behind finding out my brother and sister-in-law would be traveling home for her grandmother's funeral. I asked if they would be going back right after the funeral or staying for the weekend. When I found out they'd be hanging around I replied "oh good! PAR-TAY!". Exactly what someone wants to hear when planning a trip home for a funeral...and continue with..."I'm sorry, that was a dumb thing to say...I uh...I'm excited to see you guys and..." Why can't I just say "that'll be nice to have you guys around for awhile and I'm sorry to hear about your grandma."?
I like to blame it on the hormones, but it's been causing me a lot of backtracking, foot in mouth, red-faced moments lately and it gets somewhat exhausting. So if you're around me and I say something dumb, please accept my appology, or atempt at one. It's safe to assume it's not the first dumb thing I've said that day. :)
Monday, November 9, 2009
Ellen
(a random blog of opinion and observation from my perspective...no other...I speak only only for me)
For those of you who know me, probably even barely know me, you know that I have a very dear spot in my heart for the Ellen show. I've had people tell me that if I can watch her and not feel convicted then good...but it's not for them. I've had people join in my excitement going on an on about all our favorite Ellen moments, and then there are those who could care less.
Some might say that I'm obsessed with the Ellen show, and today I'll give you one reason why (even though I think obsessed is a bit over the top). I've been noticing someing specifically over the last two years of life. Who people say they are, and who people actually are. There are many christians who claim to be just that...a christian. Someone who follows Christ, to love Him, to love people, and to do His will. But then you really get to know them and you realize that they will simply tell you how much they love Him and love people, but they are some of the most selfish people you will ever meet. They say some of the harshest things and are downright mean and nasty. They lie and manipulate to cover their true feelings and to appear a certain way. (Please note, I don't think all christians are this way. I am a christian, I don't hate them, and I know I'm far from a perfect christian...I'm getting to my point, I promise)
Then there are people who don't believe in a god at all, or they believe that there is one and want nothing to do with Him. Somehow some of these people are some of the most kind-hearted, loving, & honest people I have ever met. They seem more like Christ than some christians. A friend of mine has a father that is not a christian and he is one of the most generous men I know. He's fun and his kids have no doubt in their minds that he loves them. He gives up much of his time and resources for them and to be with them. (Sounds a little like Christ to me).
I say all this not to judge christians, or non-christians or anyone in between, but to say that when it comes to Ellen...she is Ellen. It is an hour of my day where I can sit down and watch someone who is everything they say they are (I know..she's not perfect). Not only is she who she says she is, but what she says she is, or believes in- she says and does 100%. She believes in helping people and almost daily on her show helps random people she has never met by giving money, cars, scholarships, etc. She says she's a lesbian, and never does she try to cover up the fact that she has a wife, that she loves her wife, and that she sees nothing wrong with having a wife. Nor is she the opposite where she flaunts the fact that she is gay making people uncomfortable either. She's fine being gay, and she's fine with straight people. She says and does whatever and stands behind herself the whole way. So for one hour of my day I feel like I get to 'hang out' with someone who is real, totally unperfect, and hilarious and I feel no convictions about it.
For all you other Ellen lovers- gear up! It's Dough-Vember and there's $25,000 dollars just waiting for a homeviewer :)
For those of you who know me, probably even barely know me, you know that I have a very dear spot in my heart for the Ellen show. I've had people tell me that if I can watch her and not feel convicted then good...but it's not for them. I've had people join in my excitement going on an on about all our favorite Ellen moments, and then there are those who could care less.
Some might say that I'm obsessed with the Ellen show, and today I'll give you one reason why (even though I think obsessed is a bit over the top). I've been noticing someing specifically over the last two years of life. Who people say they are, and who people actually are. There are many christians who claim to be just that...a christian. Someone who follows Christ, to love Him, to love people, and to do His will. But then you really get to know them and you realize that they will simply tell you how much they love Him and love people, but they are some of the most selfish people you will ever meet. They say some of the harshest things and are downright mean and nasty. They lie and manipulate to cover their true feelings and to appear a certain way. (Please note, I don't think all christians are this way. I am a christian, I don't hate them, and I know I'm far from a perfect christian...I'm getting to my point, I promise)
Then there are people who don't believe in a god at all, or they believe that there is one and want nothing to do with Him. Somehow some of these people are some of the most kind-hearted, loving, & honest people I have ever met. They seem more like Christ than some christians. A friend of mine has a father that is not a christian and he is one of the most generous men I know. He's fun and his kids have no doubt in their minds that he loves them. He gives up much of his time and resources for them and to be with them. (Sounds a little like Christ to me).
I say all this not to judge christians, or non-christians or anyone in between, but to say that when it comes to Ellen...she is Ellen. It is an hour of my day where I can sit down and watch someone who is everything they say they are (I know..she's not perfect). Not only is she who she says she is, but what she says she is, or believes in- she says and does 100%. She believes in helping people and almost daily on her show helps random people she has never met by giving money, cars, scholarships, etc. She says she's a lesbian, and never does she try to cover up the fact that she has a wife, that she loves her wife, and that she sees nothing wrong with having a wife. Nor is she the opposite where she flaunts the fact that she is gay making people uncomfortable either. She's fine being gay, and she's fine with straight people. She says and does whatever and stands behind herself the whole way. So for one hour of my day I feel like I get to 'hang out' with someone who is real, totally unperfect, and hilarious and I feel no convictions about it.
For all you other Ellen lovers- gear up! It's Dough-Vember and there's $25,000 dollars just waiting for a homeviewer :)
Friday, November 6, 2009
The Proposal
Today I watched The Proposal. I love cheesy, romantic, totally-predictable-ending chick flicks. I laid there laughing outloud and dabbing at some embarassing tears that somehow surfaced. I love romance- I love snide remarks when you know really the characters are falling in love. I hate that even though I know there has to be some major roadblock I still grit my teeth just hoping it won't happen. I love when they finally admit outloud infront of the entire office that 'I love you & I don't care who is watching'. And I'm ALWAYS disappointed that the movie doesn't show what happens next. No matter when they end I wanna know 'then what?' Even if you see the wedding, are there kids? It's just never enough. Somewhere during the credits when I was asking 'then what?' I had to remind myself that it's just a movie. Just a script that someone got a lot of money for pulling out of no where.
I love that and I hate that. For some reason those are the only kinds of movies that reel me in everytime.
As today was a declared lazy day, I didn't get much done. I managed to leave the house long enough to restock on bananas and juice and have lunch with Ryse and Derrick. I got a few hours in at work and am now exhausted. I feel like an old lady, and in my old lady state of mind I will end this random post.
I love that and I hate that. For some reason those are the only kinds of movies that reel me in everytime.
As today was a declared lazy day, I didn't get much done. I managed to leave the house long enough to restock on bananas and juice and have lunch with Ryse and Derrick. I got a few hours in at work and am now exhausted. I feel like an old lady, and in my old lady state of mind I will end this random post.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Who I Am
I thought an appropriate beginning to a blog would be about me. I've been secretly blogging under a name I grew up wishing was mine. Lately I was convicted by my strong hatred for people who say harsh things or boldly state their opinions, but remain anonymous. Then I realized that's kinda how my blog was, except I was just complaining about stressful situations or bragging about random exciting things going on in my life...all the while not wanting anyone that knew me to read it. Well I'm stepping out into the world of honesty, if you will. I'm owning up to my secret hopes, secret frustrations, and secret silly opinions about everyday occurances.
So who am I? I used to be a Herman...a very good strong name. One I was proud to put after my first. One that my dad carried and made worth holding onto. One that now my 3 brothers hang onto and shared with people worth sharing with. It was a good name, and I still say 'I'm a Herman...and I'm a Zahner". :) There is nothing wrong with being a Zahner, not in the least...I just had a problem giving up the Herman part, you'll learn why the more you learn about my family.
So what is At The End of the Alphabet. Me. My children. My family. My husband reminded me when I said yes to him, to his wonderful proposal in California, and to wear a ring I love, that I was also saying yes to putting my kids at the end of the line in school. I laughed and gladly accepted that, it seemed like a small price to pay for spending my life with him. But that is where we sit...at the end of the alphabet, not a good thing, not a bad thing...just a thing.
Also, my profile picture is my view of...well what used to be my feet. I thought this was funny, I'm not sure why it struck me so funny actually. I also don't have many pictures of myself recently...so this is what we get :)
I will cut this slightly short as naptime for my very energetic daughter is over, and for some reason me sitting here typing is not one of her favorite things for me to do.
Hopefully this blog can be a fun, light-hearted but opinionated picture of myself. Welcome to the real live, nothing secret about it, blog. (this is weird.)
So who am I? I used to be a Herman...a very good strong name. One I was proud to put after my first. One that my dad carried and made worth holding onto. One that now my 3 brothers hang onto and shared with people worth sharing with. It was a good name, and I still say 'I'm a Herman...and I'm a Zahner". :) There is nothing wrong with being a Zahner, not in the least...I just had a problem giving up the Herman part, you'll learn why the more you learn about my family.
So what is At The End of the Alphabet. Me. My children. My family. My husband reminded me when I said yes to him, to his wonderful proposal in California, and to wear a ring I love, that I was also saying yes to putting my kids at the end of the line in school. I laughed and gladly accepted that, it seemed like a small price to pay for spending my life with him. But that is where we sit...at the end of the alphabet, not a good thing, not a bad thing...just a thing.
Also, my profile picture is my view of...well what used to be my feet. I thought this was funny, I'm not sure why it struck me so funny actually. I also don't have many pictures of myself recently...so this is what we get :)
I will cut this slightly short as naptime for my very energetic daughter is over, and for some reason me sitting here typing is not one of her favorite things for me to do.
Hopefully this blog can be a fun, light-hearted but opinionated picture of myself. Welcome to the real live, nothing secret about it, blog. (this is weird.)
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