A Non-Poop Inducing Cleanse

Last night while sitting at the dinner table sitting in front of a funny smelling salad, Derrick and I had to laugh. What are we doing? Why would we do any kind of cleanse for any amount of time? We're stupid. That's the only conclusion we could come to.
Sure the idea of less bloating and losing weight sounds good to everyone. I'm not sure there are two people who love food and snack more than the two of us. I'm beginning to think that the real reason I got into this was to show me my love of food and my dependence on it. It's become a part of my everyday routine. When I get accomplished what I had set aside for that day during nap time, I end nap time with sitting on the couch alongside of a bag of chips, cookies, or bummel cheese (what Ryse calls Cheese Puffs) and pop or coffee. Or if I'm just having a no good rotten day- I take the whole nap time and dedicate it to food.
I hope you can hear the laughter in my voice, the me making fun of myself. I'm not confessing any sins (or should I be?) or anything like that here...it's all fun.
I really do joke about my love for food a lot. I talk about food a lot. I think about food a lot. I have a great appreciation for good wings, pizza, chips, cookies, chocolates, double cheeseburgers, and I'm the most excited when I reach my hand into my McDonald's bag and the fries are so hot it hurts your fingers and they are so salty it burns any cold sore instantly.
Because of this dang cleanse, I've realized my jokes are rooted in truth. I love food. Do I feel guilty about it? Nope. I don't think I'm a gluten or anything.
I am enjoying this cleanse simply for the reason that it is different, and it's 3 days of being extreme for me. This is not who I am. Apples aren't me. Healthy shakes? I laughed at people spending money on these. Salads? As a good friend says "salads are the promise that the real food is coming." I couldn't agree more. But it's been fun, kinda. It's been challenging (sitting at McDonalds with mom and the girls, eating not one bite). And it's been rewarding. I really do feel good, and I've lost about 3lbs in a day and a half and Derricks about 2lbs a head of me (of course). Halfway done!
Anyway...I just thought it was funny and it was on my mind when I opened my blog to catch up reading, so I thought I'd share. If you're interested in a cleanse, this is the one I'd recommend. I don't think I've pooped once since I started (sorry, TMI) but who wants to poop for a solid week? Not me. The shakes aren't horrible. And it's only 3 days, who wants to diet or anything for longer than that? Me either. It's not $200 like some I saw and it seems to be working. Check, check, check.
Results to come when it's finished. And seriously- if this sounds riciculous to you, lets clink our double cheeseburgers for a cheers. And if you're interested, I'll give you  my 'suppliers' name- she rocks and this stuff is so good for you.

I realize at times like this how weird I am. I'm so contradicting. 

It's called fat, dumb, and happy. Happy is good.

I want it all...

Cookies. Double cheeseburgers.  Pizza every night.
To look good. To feel good. To be able to go go go.
To relax. Put my feet up. Catch up on the 21 new Ellen episodes on my DVR.
Have a clean house. Mopped floors. Dusted shelves.
To go away with Derrick. To travel.
To snuggle on the couch and watch game shows.
Alone time. Peace. Quiet.
Parties. Friends over. Food. Games. All the time.
To play with the girls. Bake cardboard cakes. "Cheers" a plastic tea cup.
To set them in front of the television and beg them for quiet.
To Turbo. To run. To run far.
To sit. To breath. To not sweat.
To eat apples. Grapes. Salads.
Extra cheese and salad dressing. More cookies. Potato Chips.
To read books. Parenting ones. Marriage ones. Bible studies. Novels. All of them, at once.
To sleep. Hours on end. Uninterrupted.

None is bad. To much one of one, is.
So many people only workout. Or only eat. Or only play. Or only beg the television to babysit. Perhaps they entertain and never enjoy a quiet night at home. Or they always sit, ignoring friends and invites. Or only read, and never watch junk on television.

Balance means you're better at life then some, and worse at it than others. I cannot want to be the best at everything and have balance.
Some call it settling for second place. I call it beating third.

I threw my random thoughts into a pot...

and it makes sense to me.
Sometimes things just coincidently fall into my lap...

This is so cool to me.
Dream Big
I hope they get $50,000.

I was just thinking about Negative Nancy(s). You know the people who complain all.the.time. I have no problem with someone admitting something sucks, struggling with something, or just complaining. My problem comes when the complaining is more than a complaint. It's a lot of 'a complaint's. They are so.very. whiny.
They whine because they are lonely. They find someone. That someone isn't good enough.
They want to have children. They get pregnant. They complain, day in, day out. It's all they do. I'm okay with complaining, I had AWFUL pregnancies. But remember, God has blessed you with precious life. Be thankful. At least once.
The baby is born- they want sleep. They want independence.
They think they're fat. They work out. Their sore and tired...all over facebook.
They want out of the house. It's raining. They're wet.
They want money. It's not enough.
They want 'the car', it breaks down.
You get my drift- Negative Nancy complains no matter what.
(I feel like I need to specify complaining is not wrong, in my opinion, but when it never stops it's so.very.wearing on the world around you. You are hurting yourself by feeling sorry for you. I also feel like I need to specify there are things that are very normal to complain about, even ones listed above, especially some listed above- and I think those who know me well, know it's not them I'm talking about, I am not 'good friends' with Negative Nancy(s), I flee them)
I've recently been challenged on two things.
one. Confront sin. Love and care for the sinner.  (hmmm...I think we can all put this on a sticky note on our mirrors)
two. Quit complaining. Intentionally look for someone who has it worse than me (believe me, this is possible for everyone reading here). Do something. Make a dinner. Make a phone call. Babysit a kid, or 3. Send an envelope with cash. $5 for a McDonald's pick me up. $100 for an electric bill. Chances are good we'll still eat next week.


What about the family from the above link- is $10 going to put you in the poor house? I thought "uh- I'd have to go get my debit card and put the info in and I never win and...." and, and, and I'll never meet these people. BUT, God brought them to my attention. Someone who is doing something great, and taking a risk, a $33,000 risk. If I'm not willing to risk, why not support a risk?
You can risk $10, at least.
Not because "Kristen gave a motivational speech" (not what I want this to be), but because you can take one step towards doing something good for someone, and for a few minutes, not thinking about how bad of state your bills are in, your house is in (who doesn't have 3 baskets of laundry at least to fold right now?), or how much time it would take.
Next- find someone else to help.

This is a message to me. It's my goal. It's who I want to be. I want to take risks for people, friends, strangers. I want to quit worrying about everyday things, one.step.at.a.time...

Check. Kinda.

Thick fog.
Full tank of gas. 
Pipin hot coffee.
Car to myself. 
Blasting music. 
My choice.
Singing.
Loudly.


Nervous. 
Familiar face.
Punch. Kick.
Sweat.
Lunch with a new friend.
Sweat. 
Test.


Hot sun.
Diet coke.
Car to myself.
Music. 
My choice.
Muscles. Dead.


Bucket list #9:
Check.
Kinda. 
Gotta find a place to teach.


(#9: Become a certified Turbo Kick instructor. Leading to finding a place to teach at convenient hours to still be home most of the time. Exercise. Work. Fun. All in one)