You can be sure no employee of Union Hospital has TB...its ridiculous how many times I have to drive down there for a stupid Tb test. If I were a nurse or had contact with all those sick people I would consider it less of a waste of my time. If they weren't annoying and would let me get it done when I was already down there, that would help too. When I'm done working there we'll have a 'no more 80 million TB tests because their records suck' party.
That is my 'I have a complaint but won't post it on Facebook because people comment if I post too much' thought of the day.
Next post will be more upbeat, I promise.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Thought of the day.
Sometimes I'm just irritated. I have high expectations for people. I think highly of people. I hold them to the standard I think they could live up to. I need to quit letting them let me down, erase expectations, and worry about me.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
I'm emotional.
I don't like it. I'm a cry baby. Now that that is out of the way...
God answers prayers. My brother was told he had melanoma, exactly what my dad passed away from. We were hopeful that they caught it early and with a small surgery, hopefully no treatments, he'd be good as gold. But really, how do you block out everything that happened to dad. How sick he was. How awful the cancer was. It was torture waiting til his appointment.
We were praying like crazy. I'm not sure about the rest of my family, but I kept praying that it wouldn't even be an early stage cancer, I wanted it to be nothing. No cancer. Regardless of what the nurse called the cancer on the phone, regardless of what the biopsy said, regardless of what anything sensible would say, I wanted it to be nothing. A friend and I were just discussing that maybe we don't see God work because we don't look. Maybe we don't pray specifically enough to see an specific answer. Maybe we don't think highly enough of God to ask for the biggest outcome. So I thought I'd give it a wing. I know god doesn't always say yes. But yesterday, He did.
My brother called beaming, I teared up, so stinkin hopeful. "I got good news!" I seriously cry just typing it. It's not cancer. He didn't know why the nurse told him melanoma. The doctor called it something else, I can't remember, I couldn't focus. He explained that it was bad, but wasn't cancer and wouldn't spread. So they took out the area around where everything was, sent him on his way, scheduling nothing more than his yearly check ups. Are you serious? Not an early stage cancer? Not few or none treatments? Nothing? Specifically what I prayed for. Call me crazy, I'm beaming. I'm reminded of so much. God doesn't always say yes, but He doesn't always say no either (which is where I was feeling like life was).
Secondly- and a little less exciting :) Mia went to her ENT appointment today. I had been pumped and decided to pray the same for her. No surgery. No fluid in her ears. Nothing. I didn't get yes, and I didn't get no. I'll take that. She has fluid in her ears and there is pressure on her ear drums. It's affecting her hearing and antibiotics aren't helping. They are putting her on an oral steroid and a nose mist (should be fun) steroid hoping that her ears will pop, relieving the pressure and letting the fluid drain on its own, without surgery to put tubes in. So we try these medicines and go back in a month. I just didn't want to go and schedule a surgery- I'm not settled yet on letting Union do her surgery. I'm an opinionated, I hold grudges at hospitals that screw us over, don't touch my child again, mother :)
I hate being emotional, but I guess it comes with the territory. I blame it on the hormones that never ever even think about going back to normal after you have a baby. No one warned me about those.
So much else going on too, church was so cool last night. Talking about schedules, where you cheat time, how you balance family, work, self, God...whatever. So much I want to change to open time in my life and get rid of stress and have some fun. You know me, Kristen 'I wanna have fun' Zahner.
God answers prayers. My brother was told he had melanoma, exactly what my dad passed away from. We were hopeful that they caught it early and with a small surgery, hopefully no treatments, he'd be good as gold. But really, how do you block out everything that happened to dad. How sick he was. How awful the cancer was. It was torture waiting til his appointment.
We were praying like crazy. I'm not sure about the rest of my family, but I kept praying that it wouldn't even be an early stage cancer, I wanted it to be nothing. No cancer. Regardless of what the nurse called the cancer on the phone, regardless of what the biopsy said, regardless of what anything sensible would say, I wanted it to be nothing. A friend and I were just discussing that maybe we don't see God work because we don't look. Maybe we don't pray specifically enough to see an specific answer. Maybe we don't think highly enough of God to ask for the biggest outcome. So I thought I'd give it a wing. I know god doesn't always say yes. But yesterday, He did.
My brother called beaming, I teared up, so stinkin hopeful. "I got good news!" I seriously cry just typing it. It's not cancer. He didn't know why the nurse told him melanoma. The doctor called it something else, I can't remember, I couldn't focus. He explained that it was bad, but wasn't cancer and wouldn't spread. So they took out the area around where everything was, sent him on his way, scheduling nothing more than his yearly check ups. Are you serious? Not an early stage cancer? Not few or none treatments? Nothing? Specifically what I prayed for. Call me crazy, I'm beaming. I'm reminded of so much. God doesn't always say yes, but He doesn't always say no either (which is where I was feeling like life was).
Secondly- and a little less exciting :) Mia went to her ENT appointment today. I had been pumped and decided to pray the same for her. No surgery. No fluid in her ears. Nothing. I didn't get yes, and I didn't get no. I'll take that. She has fluid in her ears and there is pressure on her ear drums. It's affecting her hearing and antibiotics aren't helping. They are putting her on an oral steroid and a nose mist (should be fun) steroid hoping that her ears will pop, relieving the pressure and letting the fluid drain on its own, without surgery to put tubes in. So we try these medicines and go back in a month. I just didn't want to go and schedule a surgery- I'm not settled yet on letting Union do her surgery. I'm an opinionated, I hold grudges at hospitals that screw us over, don't touch my child again, mother :)
I hate being emotional, but I guess it comes with the territory. I blame it on the hormones that never ever even think about going back to normal after you have a baby. No one warned me about those.
So much else going on too, church was so cool last night. Talking about schedules, where you cheat time, how you balance family, work, self, God...whatever. So much I want to change to open time in my life and get rid of stress and have some fun. You know me, Kristen 'I wanna have fun' Zahner.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
I wear a smile...
even when my heart is heavy.
Today I will take a step in the right direction. I cannot say everything, I cannot answer every question. If you know, you were meant to, if you don't, you may find out. Don't ask.
It's my blog though, I will unload here.
Recently we found out that someone very, very close to me received news about their health. Not good news. Not the worst news. We find out more this week. I haven't been able to think straight since last Friday. It reminds me of dad. Except dad was farther along. His was bad. Obviously. We were hopeful, we were crushed. Friday brought a rush of emotions I was not ready to handle, but apparently God is. I'm not good at letting Him. I suck at trusting, even if it's God apparently. Trust issues- a whole other issue. It was a very busy weekend, Friday I worked at the Kids Stuff Sale (you should go if you haven't, link), Saturday was my birthday (without complaining, it was possible my least favorite. I will blog about this, I am thankful for the lunch and dinner, I swear. They were needed, much needed), Sunday was shopping at the sale, working at the sale, getting home at nine, bedtime for the girls, exhausted...you get it. Monday I tried to clean, I fought the girls, I found them playing with dirty potty water (gag, I know). I gave up and played. Went on a walk. Ate tacos.
Today I will take time to think, time to pray, time to cry. Maybe I wont. Maybe I'll make it a day to distract just me. But I will think about me for a few hours. My friend took the girls. I love that she saw a need and jumped in. As if she isn't busy enough being a mother to her 6 children. I will get off of here, run until I can't run anymore, lay in a hot bath, maybe put laundry away, or maybe skip that and jump into laying in bed, no noise, and sleeping. Or to be honest, crying. I believe in good cries. I hate it because it sounds cheesy, but it takes hundreds of pounds off my shoulders.
I am reminded that having a heavy heart is not just a saying, it feels heavy. It hurts. I haven't been real with anyone but my husband for the last 5 days, which is not easy. I wear a smile. It fits, it's more fun.
Today I will take a step in the right direction. I cannot say everything, I cannot answer every question. If you know, you were meant to, if you don't, you may find out. Don't ask.
It's my blog though, I will unload here.
Recently we found out that someone very, very close to me received news about their health. Not good news. Not the worst news. We find out more this week. I haven't been able to think straight since last Friday. It reminds me of dad. Except dad was farther along. His was bad. Obviously. We were hopeful, we were crushed. Friday brought a rush of emotions I was not ready to handle, but apparently God is. I'm not good at letting Him. I suck at trusting, even if it's God apparently. Trust issues- a whole other issue. It was a very busy weekend, Friday I worked at the Kids Stuff Sale (you should go if you haven't, link), Saturday was my birthday (without complaining, it was possible my least favorite. I will blog about this, I am thankful for the lunch and dinner, I swear. They were needed, much needed), Sunday was shopping at the sale, working at the sale, getting home at nine, bedtime for the girls, exhausted...you get it. Monday I tried to clean, I fought the girls, I found them playing with dirty potty water (gag, I know). I gave up and played. Went on a walk. Ate tacos.
Today I will take time to think, time to pray, time to cry. Maybe I wont. Maybe I'll make it a day to distract just me. But I will think about me for a few hours. My friend took the girls. I love that she saw a need and jumped in. As if she isn't busy enough being a mother to her 6 children. I will get off of here, run until I can't run anymore, lay in a hot bath, maybe put laundry away, or maybe skip that and jump into laying in bed, no noise, and sleeping. Or to be honest, crying. I believe in good cries. I hate it because it sounds cheesy, but it takes hundreds of pounds off my shoulders.
I am reminded that having a heavy heart is not just a saying, it feels heavy. It hurts. I haven't been real with anyone but my husband for the last 5 days, which is not easy. I wear a smile. It fits, it's more fun.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Things I wish I could blog about
but haven't had the time...
•last weeks church service
•this weeks church service
•hoity-toits
•spoiled people
•our new car, old but more efficient than the big orange truck...up for sale.
•the earthquakes
•helping others who are or aren't helping themselves, the difference
•bad words
•my running hatred is fading...I am really enjoying running in rain
•my hopefully updated bucket list, hoping to cross things off
•I will be 26, that sounds old to me, 25 seemed young
•a new cool recipe
•tounge biting, literally and figuratively, there is a big bruise on my tongue
•"I have the pants on, but I have both legs in one hole" by my husband & why
But now I'm hungry and it is time to sleep, it is past time to sleep.
•last weeks church service
•this weeks church service
•hoity-toits
•spoiled people
•our new car, old but more efficient than the big orange truck...up for sale.
•the earthquakes
•helping others who are or aren't helping themselves, the difference
•bad words
•my running hatred is fading...I am really enjoying running in rain
•my hopefully updated bucket list, hoping to cross things off
•I will be 26, that sounds old to me, 25 seemed young
•a new cool recipe
•tounge biting, literally and figuratively, there is a big bruise on my tongue
•"I have the pants on, but I have both legs in one hole" by my husband & why
But now I'm hungry and it is time to sleep, it is past time to sleep.
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