Ironically....

here I sit. Beside Symira's hospital bed.

She was admitted Sunday to Union with RSV/pnemonia and transferred on Monday to Akron Children's because she was having to work real hard to breath. Monday night she was having such a hard time breathing that she would take breaks...not good at all. Fearing she was going to stop breathing they moved us to the PICU where breathing tubes and higher treatments are available. Luckly she snapped outta it on the transfer and coming into a freezing room must have helped because she didn't need more support, the oxygen she was on was enough. After getting a little bit better she was moved on Wednesday back to the main pediatrics floor. She's been doing good, getting alittle better at a time. I'm sparing some details because I'm almost tired of updating but I want to have this to look back on.

I feel like I've been pretty positive but I have a complaint. Not wanting to broadcast it on facebook and try and get pity or a lot of questions I figured here would be a good spot.

I will never (of course I'm a people pleaser so 'never' holds less water) do favors for certain people. It is like pulling teeth to get certain people to help. *end of paragraph deleted*

I'm sure I sound like such a brat and I feel like it just writing it, but it's so irritating! How long do you have to be in the hospital before....I won't even go there....you would just think had any of your family been in the hospital for 6 days you could make a little effort.

*paragraph deleted due to potential new reader*

Now on a good note, I offically feel the freedom to say no, no matter the situation. Another good note, I will have company for my birthday and food that is not from a cafeteria :) I really am thankful, that's why I hate to even complain. Just thought if for one minute I couldn't vent I'd pop :)

Time for my 'room service' :)

One thing hospitals aren't for...

family. If you've ever had to sit by a hospital bed, I'm sorry. When it comes to hospitals, they make me sick. They've healed and they haven't. Yesterday I was reminded of he good and bad. I visited a good friend who just had a sweet little baby girl and then took the elevator back down the the main floor to visit my nephew in the ER. Poor lil guy was having a hard time breathing and is spending his second day in the hospital getting breathing treatments. He's 11 weeks old...I hate wires, I hate alarms, and I hate babies in the hospitals (unless of course they're being born).

Duty calls (not doodie calls) but I'd better get back to work...just wanted to quickly express my hatred for hospitals, my excitement for welcoming Josie Bloom into this world, and let the world know I'm wishing Mack-Doodle well...love you lil buddy.

When Life Isn't Fair....

...eat Chips Deluxe cookies by Keebler :) I've found it's better (& cheaper) than thearpy and it doesn't talk back with rubbish or unnecessary arguments like some people.

Now that I got that out: things have been crazy here lately. Viruses have made Ryse a clingy, whiney little girl, Derrick exhausted, myself overwhelmed, and Symira...well oblivious I guess :) Yesterday was a day full of crying: Ryse, Symira, & me. I laugh now because it seems silly to let them get under my skin so easily, but the lack of sleep can create an emotional monster.

To jump to a new topic, I pulled out my dads old cheerios shirt today, it's bright yellow, very worn to the point of being barely modest (which is more than okay when you stay home all day), says Cheerios on the front with a cute lil brown cheerio dotting the 'i', and has broken letters spelling Jim on the back. As I was brushing my hair and teeth infront of the mirror this morning I laughed at it and then (here comes the emotional monster) teared up.

Every now and again when Ryse does something absolutely ornery and hilarious I get the same feeling....dad would love to see this. When Symira rips one that can be heard anywhere in the room, he'd be so proud. I think dad would laugh the same laugh to see his daughter wearing such a pathetic shirt. I think he'd crack the same smile to see Ryse run around the corner in nothing but her saggy diaper exclaiming loudly something that's probably best not understood. I think he'd squint his eyes and make the same stinky face when Symira toots. It makes me sad that he's not here for this. It bums me out that he isn't here to pop in after a long day at work and catch such a messed up sight...he'd laugh. I'm almost sure of it. Then he'd try to encourage us by telling us stories about when we were little and more than likely refer to a story in the Bible where someone was faced with similar challanges.

This shirt was perfect for him: bright...clever...and comfortable. I've been blessed. I miss him today.

First row of Chips Deluxe cookies by Keebler almost gone :)

The Longest Shortest Most Crazy Wonderful 3 Years

Yesterday marked 3 years of marriage to Derrick- I'll spare you the "I married my best friend and have been living in a fairy tale ever since" speech. Our lives have been crazy for 3 years.

Had someone told me on our wedding day that in 3 years we'd have vacationed in the mountains of Colorado, on the beach in Holden, sat in the PICU with our oldest for heart surgery, rode in a helicopter with her, and then have a second daughter who also needed attention for a heart condition I'd have laughed and possibly slowly backed up....rethinking walking down the isle. Not because of who Derrick is in any way, shape, or form, but because I don't like change...good or bad, Derrick will very much attest to that. I don't like stress, I hate it. Mostly I hate to wear my heart on my sleeve, which is what children are, except they hop off your sleeve and enter into other people's care for hours, sometimes days, and it's awful. Also because I love sleep, something I only got for the first 7 months of our marriage. It's amazing how it can be so exciting & so discouraging...but I can honestly say with all cheese aside that I'm glad it's with Derrick.

I'll tell you what's great about Derrick- he'll gladly give you a piece of his mind, but spare the unnecessary jabs and insults. He'll work his tail off to provide for a family, but turn down some opportunities so his wife doesn't go crazy. His favorite meal is steak and pasta with a wonderful beverage at Carrabbas, but asks for hotdogs and mac-n-cheese multiple times in one week. He loves high class vehicles because he understands the importance of all things internal, but he drives a bright orange chevy truck that is older than a hill. He's very much a boy with dirty hands, torn jeans, holes in his socks, but he sweeps the kitchen floor over one crumb and vaccums the house multiple times a week (his choice, not mine :)). He is usually laid back but one day years ago stated that he'd like to marry someone with spunk and someone who is feisty- when he realizes that's exactly what he got and it's working against him- he smiles because it's exactly what he asked for.

I couldn't have made a better list of what I would need in marriage...he's wonderful and he's what I need. Guess I didn't set ALL cheese aside.