I'm emotional.

I don't like it. I'm a cry baby. Now that that is out of the way...
God answers prayers. My brother was told he had melanoma, exactly what my dad passed away from. We were hopeful that they caught it early and with a small surgery, hopefully no treatments, he'd be good as gold. But really, how do you block out everything that happened to dad. How sick he was. How awful the cancer was. It was torture waiting til his appointment.
We were praying like crazy. I'm not sure about the rest of my family, but I kept praying that it wouldn't even be an early stage cancer, I wanted it to be nothing. No cancer. Regardless of what the nurse called the cancer on the phone, regardless of what the biopsy said, regardless of what anything sensible would say, I wanted it to be nothing. A friend and I were just discussing that maybe we don't see God work because we don't look. Maybe we don't pray specifically enough to see an specific answer. Maybe we don't think highly enough of God to ask for the biggest outcome. So I thought I'd give it a wing. I know god doesn't always say yes. But yesterday, He did.
My brother called beaming, I teared up, so stinkin hopeful. "I got good news!" I seriously cry just typing it. It's not cancer. He didn't know why the nurse told him melanoma. The doctor called it something else, I can't remember, I couldn't focus. He explained that it was bad, but wasn't cancer and wouldn't spread. So they took out the area around where everything was, sent him on his way, scheduling nothing more than his yearly check ups. Are you serious? Not an early stage cancer? Not few or none treatments? Nothing? Specifically what I prayed for. Call me crazy, I'm beaming. I'm reminded of so much. God doesn't always say yes, but He doesn't always say no either (which is where I was feeling like life was).

Secondly- and a little less exciting :) Mia went to her ENT appointment today. I had been pumped and decided to pray the same for her. No surgery. No fluid in her ears. Nothing. I didn't get yes, and I didn't get no. I'll take that. She has fluid in her ears and there is pressure on her ear drums. It's affecting her hearing and antibiotics aren't helping. They are putting her on an oral steroid and a nose mist (should be fun) steroid hoping that her ears will pop, relieving the pressure and letting the fluid drain on its own, without surgery to put tubes in. So we try these medicines and go back in a month. I just didn't want to go and schedule a surgery- I'm not settled yet on letting Union do her surgery. I'm an opinionated, I hold grudges at hospitals that screw us over, don't touch my child again, mother :)

I hate being emotional, but I guess it comes with the territory. I blame it on the hormones that never ever even think about going back to normal after you have a baby. No one warned me about those.

So much else going on too, church was so cool last night. Talking about schedules, where you cheat time, how you balance family, work, self, God...whatever. So much I want to change to open time in my life and get rid of stress and have some fun. You know me, Kristen 'I wanna have fun' Zahner.