We chose this, for better or worse...

I'm talking about me being a stay at home mom. Lately I've been realizing a lot of the consequences, both good and bad, of this decision.

I get to see all the 'firsts' my girls do. Smiling, rolling, crawling, walking, talking...through everything...I get a front row seat.

I'm there when the girls are sick, to comfort them, to clean up barf. 
I'm home all day, no adults to talk to, no adults to care that I'm still in my pj's from the day before.

I'm there when there's extra long naps to do dishes and laundry, I'm never away from the dishes and laundry.

I'm there to play with the girls, I'm there to hear every whiny word muttered or screamed. 
I don't have a full time job outside of the house.

I don't have a pay check representing more than about 10 hours of work.

There are days when both girls actually do sleep at the same time and I can sit on the couch and blog, or watch Biggest Loser from the previous week since it's been busy.

There are lunches I don't buy because we're living on one paycheck.

There are toys for Christmas we only look at on store shelves because of that. 
I'm happy with less so I can be home.

We give up things, money, and low stress bill paying so I can stay home. 
I'm not bored. 
I don't take it for granted.

What's the point of this? I have it good, I know it. Money is tight, I know it. My life, our lives, are this way because this is what Derrick and I have chosen. There are people who think all I do is watch soaps and eat bonbons. There are people who ask me to do ridiculous things during the day. My only interpretation of this is 'she must not have anything to do', or 'she has more time than me and I might as well take advantage of that'.

Right....then you can have your full time paycheck and someone to 'insert ridiculous thing', while I sit with my 10 hour paycheck, my own 2 kids, my part time evening job, my extra money sewing jobs, my laundry, cooking, and cleaning, and now your ridiculous thing to be responsible for. I don't mind helping, I'll volunteer 90% of the time...but please don't ask me for favors that include hundreds of hours of my time and offer me a smile for it. Or appreciate the small things. That's all.

I'm not bitter, I'm just realizing that when life is easy and calm I can feel free to enjoy it because we chose this. 

P.S. Chances are good, but not 100%, that if you are reading this, it has nothing to do with you.