Whoever said life's not fair...

was right. I'm not a negative person. I feel like I put much effort into keeping my head up and trying to look on the bright side. When I began writing this blog I wanted to finish "but God took care of it by..." but decided that I'm not going to feel bad for being negative for just a little. Please don't think I think my life is horrible. Allow me to get it out, have a small pity party, wipe my eyes, and keep moving through life with my head held high.
Life's not fair. I learned this 13 years ago today.
November 2, 2007
I was in 7th grade when dad was diagnosed with melanoma. 12 years old. He was sick for 4 weeks....4 weeks. He's with God now, and a lot of really other cool people if you start making a list. He wouldn't come back if he could. But me. 12. No dad. I've learned how unfair this is in the last 13 years. The older I get the more frustrating it can become. It's not fair.
It's not fair that a dad like mine got sick. He was funny. He was intelligent. He was hardworking. He loved everyone, and anyone. He had odd people in his life because of that. He did anything for anyone. He provided for our family. He wanted mom at home, even if it meant the only money we had for dessert was for 7 people to split a candy bar. He protected us. Sometimes too much, but I miss that. He had manners, and wanted us to as well. He smiled a lot, an unforgettable smile. He read the Bible...a lot. He compared all of our circumstances to those of people in the Bible. He was a positive person, even when he was sick. I watched him once life weights in a bath robe. He wanted to stay strong to beat the cancer. He wanted to make sure we were okay when he was sick. That's not fair.
I've done so much without him. That's not fair. I became a teenageer. I went to my first prom. I graduated high school and moved to college. I got engaged. He couldn't walk me down the isle. He wasn't there when his grandkids were born. He's not here to see how ornery they are. They don't have his lap to crawl on while his big hands turn the pages of books he's reading. It's not fair.
I know he'd be proud. He'd love the spouses that were brought into this family for so many reasons. I know he'd love Abby, Claire, Mack, Ryse & Symira. He'd be so excited to have another one on the way. I know God is totally taking care of us. I know we were lucky to have him as long as we did. I'm just saying, it's not fair he's not here. 13 years without him is to long.

Maybe later I'll write a more positive upbeat blog on how great he was and how wonderful 

the family he left is. I'm glad I'm a part of it.