I'm telling you working with the students in our youth group has been the best thing that's happened to me in a very long time. Some weeks it's taken almost all of the time I've reserved for me. It's taken time I've reserved for friends. It's taken emotion that I've let settle. It's more comfortable when it's settled. It's taken adult conversations in a life group made for people just like me. It's taken the simple innocence from my girls when burps weren't funny, farts were gross, and the term boyfriend was nonexistent. It's taken my view of high schoolers, smashed it, and showed me the next generation. The group of people God can change this world with. The desire of God not to wait to change the world with them, to do it now. It's drawn me so very close to God when there is no where else to go.
Where else can you go when one you love so much is moved to a home and you have zero communication for months. Where do you go when one tells you she doesn't want what is best, she wants what is fun and damaging? Where do you go when one fights for a relationship with her parent and she is the one turned away? When one is so sick from eating disorders her body wont function correctly? When one is finally understanding God's love for her and longs to dig into the Bible and learn...only to be ridiculed by family. Only to be doubted. Only to be mocked because of the past they fight to let go of.
What do you do when you reflect on the last 15 years of your life and you see exactly where God has prepared you for youth ministry? Cringe at mistakes that were made, find God in them, find His Word for them, set aside fun, pull back the shame, uncover the real, the hurt, the pain, and.show.everything. Give to them everything, the hurt and the hope, and beg God to heal. Beg God to heal their fatherless, broken, doubted hearts.
What do you do when God says yes, when God heals and the critic is waiting. When the critic jumps because you act silly, break down walls, but you're too immature. When you study God's Word with a student, but you're ideally not who 'we' wanted with 'our' high schooler. When you hang up from only praying with her and you're already criticized for saying to much? When to the world, you're just the wrong person.
This, my friend, is the very best place I've been.
In doing a study in Nehemiah we're learning that we don't face opposition because we're doing something wrong, we face it because we're doing something right. We learned how our enemy can discourage us from the outside by using obstacles and critics. We learned how so many God given dreams die at the very first obstacle and how any leader in any position experiences criticism. We talked about dealing with discouragement from the inside. How hard to listen to the things that were said in Nehemiah 4:1-3 and not let the voices in your head tell you you're not good enough. 'It was a mistake to come here in the first place. They are right, you're less than ideal and that's not good enough.'
I love how Nehemiah dealt with all of those things...if you read in Nehemiah 4 you see him being mocked while trying to rebuild the walls in Judah. He didn't sit down ad cry. He didn't gather his closest friends and complain. He didn't call together his greatest critics and prove them all wrong and defend himself.
He prayed.
Then he got his butt back to work rebuilding.
Two things he did was to remember the Lord and all that that Lord has done for him. Remembered how God made it possible for him to get from being a lowly cup bearer for the king to Judah to leading men in rebuilding those great and mighty walls. Second, he reminded the people to fight for their cause, not for themselves.
While the critics hurt and cause self doubt, I can rest assured I'm right where God wants me. I can remember the day, the message, the two people God used to draw us into youth ministry. I can remember the lives that have been touched, my own life that's been touched, and I can see the work the Lord is doing. I remember that. And I can fight for them, for the fatherless, for the beat down, for the doubted, for the children which God loves and wants to use to change the world.
When I'm hurt, I'll fight for them because that matters so much more than what any critic can say.
Nehemiah 4:14 And I looked, and rose up, and said unto the nobles,
and to the rulers, and to the rest of the people,
Be not afraid of them: remember the Lord, which is great and terrible,
and fight for your brethren, your sons, and your daughters, your wives, and your houses.
Terrible- 1. Distressing; severe. 2. Exciting terror, awe, or great fear. 3. Formidably great.
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