He was more than 90...

I was sitting on the couch talking on the phone when my cell phone rang. I was just updated "surgery is done. Dr Gessler said it went well. In recovery. Will let me go back in a bit. Praise! -Judy" so a pit formed quickly in my stomach when I saw it was Judy again. "Grandpa had some complications and they are coding him right now- I'm sorry, can you please call your family and let them know it doesn't look good." In a blur I called them quickly, arranging for my mother in law to come be with the girls. As Joel and I pulled into the hospital I saw mom & knew, "Grandpa's not here anymore" she said. I wont even try to explain the pain I felt, the pain I saw in mom's eyes, and the overwhelming emotions. How totally unexpected. In the matter of an hour we praised God for the surgery going well and then we wept. "Grandpa went to heaven."

I hated telling people what happened, calling work and canceling class, calling family. Because Grandpa was so amazing it hurt so bad. I knew people finding out that my 90 year old grandpa passed away wouldn't do him justice. I know even though he lived a long, full, life...none of us would ever be ready to let him go.

Some of my first memories of him were going out to eat for our birthdays. Grandma and Grandpa would always let us pick where we wanted to eat, anywhere we wanted. Of course Anne and I picked McDonalds until we grew up a little, then moved on to Ponderosa. We'd sing the whole way there and back in the car. It was my favorite thing about birthdays. I remember riding with Grandpa in his old army jeep. Grandpa drove to close to the pond and we were sucked into the mud. Of course I thought we were going under and were all going to drown. I remember his calm smile and him laughing the whole time. I remember watching Grandpa do surgeries on animals. We'd all cringe and "ewe" as he chuckled under his breath and laid all kinds of gross things out on the table in front of us. He'd let us hold the light and sit high on his chair the whole time. He treated each animal so kind and gentle. 

He was always kind, always gentle. (had to be if out of 13 grandkids he only spanked one, Joel) He played wiffle ball with us, pit, & scum. He'd lift his head, look up, and laugh his quiet laugh when everyone declined more food and Grandma piled it on anyways. 

Lately when we'd come to see Grandma and Grandpa, Grandma would be resting in her chair and Grandpa would be sitting in his rocking chair by the television, usually watching Jeopardy. He'd stand right up for hugs and say how happy he was to see everyone, always grabbing toys and playing with the great-grandkids. When we'd walk over to see Grandma, he'd smile and say "look at her, isn't she beautiful?" Almost 66 years of marriage and he treated her like a queen, ever day. 

Talking to Grandma since Grandpa passed away has blessed me so much. 

"He's my prince. I don't know how I'll live without him. He never said a cross word to me. He was soo wonderful. I didn't get to kiss him goodnight. He was my sweet heart. He would love to see his family like this, I'm so glad for my family. I loved to hear him sing when he'd sing bass. I'd sing to him in bed "let me call you sweet heart" and then we'd both sing together. He'd be here with me right now, laying, and talking about our day. He treated me so good. He made the best eggs. He was soo wonderful."

She's right. He taught us all to love. To love God, to love each other, and to love people. To respect people, to make each person feel important. To ask questions. To be ornery. That it's okay to cheat in cards, only if you don't get caught. To take care of each other. To laugh. To hug often. To stop by often. To say I love you. To live so people know you love them. He and Grandma showed us what marriage should be. Grandma's right, he was soo wonderful.

It doesn't feel right just telling people Grandpa passed away, it feels right telling them that he was so wonderful, he was so fun, he was so much to so many people. He genuinely loved everyone he met and even more loved God and served him every day. He deserves heaven. He deserves rest, good knees, and with good eyes to see God in all his glory. He deserves every bit of heaven. He was soo wonderful.